Behind the Mirror
by Iehu
Summary: A series of random one-shot chapters about the various characters in Until the End/Mass effect universe.
1. Rescue

Prompt: Lauren brings something home that Aria isn't sure about.

* * *

Aria T'Loak had seen many different things in her lifetime. Ask her for a description of a sunset and she could write a book about sunsets on Thessia. But this was the first time she'd ever actually found herself at a loss on how to describe what she was staring at.

Lauren's ass.

Somehow the human had managed to wedge herself underneath the desk in their apartment in a vain effort to catch a furry little creature that she'd brought home. She'd called it a "cat" and specified that it was from her home planet of Earth. The tiny creature had panicked at the sight of Aria and fled underneath the desk, where it was thwarting every attempt by the biotic to grab it.

Aria turned her head slightly to the right and tried not to laugh as she listened to Lauren swear and croon at the thing at the same time.

"-Come here you furry little piece of shit. Lauren's not going to hurt you, you fucking idiot." The human crooned. "Come here, little baby. It's okay."

There was a distinct hiss and a sudden jerk from Lauren, followed by the loud thump of the human's head hitting the desk.

"Motherfucker!" The blonde crawled out from underneath the desk and rubbed at her head. "Ouch."

Aria got up from the couch and walked over, placing her hand on Lauren's shoulder. "Give up, it's not coming out."

"Fuck no," Lauren huffed. "I didn't rescue this damn thing for it to hide underneath the fucking desk for the rest of its life."

"You rescued it?" Aria asked weakly. What was with her and rescuing things? _Fucking Alliance-trained instincts._

Lauren nodded, frowning as she did so. "There was this cute little girl with a box with this kitten-"

"I thought it was a cat?"

Lauren blinked at Aria, not realizing that the asari still had no idea what a "cat" was. "Oh. A kitten is what we call a baby cat."

"So it's a kitten?" The asari asked.

Lauren nodded. "He'll grow up to be a cat though. The girl was going to take him to be euthanized if she couldn't find a home for him. And I figured, why the hell not? I mean, it's just a fucking little cat." She glared at the desk suddenly. "That's decided to take refuge underneath the desk."

"So you brought it home to our temporary apartment on the Citadel, hoping that I wouldn't mind us having a pet?" Aria asked dryly.

"I thought you liked spontaneity."

"Not when it involves something that can kill you."

Lauren snorted. "He's too little to any serious damage. See?" She showed a small scratch on her left hand. "All he does is scratch. When he gets bigger it might be a problem. Besides, I figured you could use the company while you're stuck up here." Lauren gestured to Aria's injured leg.

Aria sighed. "So how do we get it out from under the desk? I don't want it attacking me while I work."

"Well, force isn't working. So..." Lauren made a face. "Food might. We have any milk in the apartment?"

"That crap you drink? Yes."

"Good." Lauren stood up and left the room abruptly.

Aria gave a wary glance at the door before she got down to look underneath the desk. At first she didn't see the furry little creature curled up in the corner with its fur puffed out in every direction. It hissed upon seeing her.

"Wonderful," Aria sighed. "It makes noise."

The kitten hissed again and tried to make itself seem smaller by backing up as far as it could.

Aria sighed again. "You know she's not going to give up until you come out, right?"

The kitten didn't make a sound and kept staring at her with bright green eyes.

"I'm not kidding, the woman won't give up. Better to just come out now and get it over with."

The kitten let out a tiny sound and shuffled a little closer to her. Curious, Aria extended her hand a few inches and laid her hand flat. The little creature shuffled over and sniffed an inch or two away from her hand. Aria watched as it slowly walked over to the edge of her fingers and sniffed them. Then it made a tiny little noise and rubbed its head against her fingers.

"What are you doing?" Lauren's voice asked.

"Shhh!" Aria shushed her. "It's sniffing my hand."

"Good - here." A small little saucer full of a white liquid was set down by Aria's other hand. "Feed it."

"It drinks that crap?" Aria asked as she inched the saucer towards the kitten.

Suddenly Aria felt a hand on her back as Lauren lowered herself on her knees next to her. The human peered under the desk and propped her head up on her arm. Aria looked back at the kitten and watched at it approached the saucer and eagerly sniffed it.

"Go on," Lauren cooed. "Drink it."

Aria watched as it began to slurp up the milk, making some sort of humming noise while it did so.

"It's called purring. They do it when they're happy." Lauren explained quietly.

Aria looked at Lauren, who was watching the kitten with a small smile. "Why did you bring this thing home?"

Lauren snorted. "All that mind melding and you can't remember a thing about the cat I had as a kid? I'm sure I showed it to you."

She stiffened for a second before she realized what Lauren was talking about. That furry creature that Lauren used to sleep with and move strings for. "Jalapeno?"

"Loved that cat. It's done eating." She extended her hand and gently scooped up the kitten, who was purring heavily.

They both shuffled out from under the desk and stood up. Aria looked at the little bundle of fur in Lauren's arm.

"You're a cute little thing when you're not scratching me." Lauren cooed, scratching it's head.

"Do we have to keep it?" Aria asked.

"Yes." Lauren looked over the kitten. "No fleas, no mangy or bare patches. You can't be more than a pound. You ate, so you're not sick. Good. Now he's yours until I come home from work."

Aria looked at the kitten and back up at her bondmate. "You're kidding right?"

"Nope. Someone has to work." Lauren held the kitten out to Aria. "Just keep an eye on him and I'll be back in a few hours."

Aria gingerly accepted the kitten. "I hate you so much right now."

"You'll do fine."

"Fuck you."


	2. That'll buff out

Prompt: The Normandy suffers some minor scratches.

* * *

Garrus clicked his mandibles and gently nudged Joker with his elbow. The pilot looked up from what he was reading to raise an eyebrow at him.

"What?" He grunted.

Garrus pointed a single talon in Shepard's direction. "Look."

Joker looked and noticed immediately what the turian was referring to. Shepard was leaned over the side of a nearby railing, straining to get a look at the side of the Normandy's hull.

"Oh no." Joker moaned.

"Oh no, what?" Vega said as he walked over, a protein bar half shoved in his mouth.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Shepard's voice made the trio jump.

"Fuck." Joker sighed.

"We're doomed." Garrus said as he turned on his Omni-tool.

"What?" Vega looked at the two of them. "What's going on?"

"WHERE IS HE?" Shepard bellowed to a cluster of nearby engineers.

"I'm almost afraid to ask why she's yelling," Vega said as he swallowed his snack.

Joker looked at him with a straight face. "She found a scratch." He made it sound like the world was ending.

"A scratch?" The marine asked.

"Shepard is over-protective of the Normandy," Garrus explained. "She doesn't like it when there are deep scratches across the hull."

"And that one was there the last time we docked," Joker said quietly. "She told him to fix it, but it doesn't look like he has."

"Who-?"

Deacon's angry voice from the other side of the dock answered Vega's question immediately. "I told you I would get around to it when I could woman!"

Shepard gestured at the hull of the Normandy. "I told you last time to fix it and you didn't!"

The engineer twitched. "Do you have any idea how many things I have to fix over here?! I'll get around to the damn scratch when I can!"

"That damn scratch should have been fixed last time!" Shepard threw her arms out. "Why wasn't it fixed last time, Josiah?"

"Loco." Vega muttered.

"That's the understatement of the century."

The three of them silently watched Shepard and Deacon argue for another five minutes before a third voice suddenly interrupted them.

"FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODDESS, SHUT UP!"

Shepard and Deacon both went quiet, staring guiltily at Liara, who had appeared at the airlock. Her clothes were a crumpled and disheveled mess.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO PUT COMPUTER SEVERS TOGETHER WHEN ALL YOU CAN HEAR IS THE TWO OF YOU SCREAMING?"

Both of them meekly looked at their feet.

"WELL?" Liara demanded. "ARE YOU GOING TO SHUT UP?"

They mumbled something.

"WHAT?"

"We'll be quiet." They both droned at the same time.

"Good!" The asari's face was dark blue from yelling at the two of them. "Deacon fix the damn scratch and Shepard stop complaining!"

Liara turned on her heel and disappeared back into the Normandy, leaving everyone in a state of shock.

"Wow." Joker said quietly. "Never seen that before."

"What?" Vega asked.

Garrus shook his head. "She's going to be cranky for days."

Joker reached out and patted the turian's shoulder. "Sorry, Vakarian."

"Why?" The turian moaned. "Spirits, why?"

"Sorry, man. Looks like you're doomed to install computer servers with an angry asari."

Garrus groaned as he shuffled for the airlock into the Normandy.

Vega and Joker watched him go.

"Poor hombre."


	3. Pale

It had just been one of those weeks again. Besides having to clean up a huge amount of mess on one of the lower apartment levels, Aria had to deal with a large amount of drunk mercenaries inside Afterlife. Lauren had gone down to deal with them with a group of her own mercenaries a while ago and hadn't returned yet. But the noise had stopped, so she'd managed to kick the mercenaries out. Somehow.

"Where's Lauren?" Aria asked Anto quietly.

The batarian gave Aria a wary glance. "She's not on the floor."

"Find her. I want to talk to her." Aria said quietly. She glanced at Nyreen, who was standing patiently in her spot.

In the past six weeks since she'd started to see the turian, Aria had noticed a sharp increase in the amount of violence that reached Anto's ears rather then Lauren's. Somehow the asari could just tell that this was Lauren's way of rebelling against Aria's decision to train Nyreen personally. Lauren had argued with her upon Nyreen's arrival inside the organization. Frankly, Aria didn't care about Lauren's feelings towards the turian. Aria saw potential in her and she wasn't about to let that go to waste.

There was a sudden noise as Liselle stalked inside the VIP lounge and stared directly at her.

"Mother." The asari said curtly.

Aria looked at her skeptically. "Yes, Liselle?"

The asari pointed behind her. "Please convince her to go to a doctor."

"I don't need a fucking doctor." Lauren said from behind her.

Even from her spot, Aria could hear the subtle weakness in her voice. She narrowed her eyes instantly. "Has she been shot?"

"No," Liselle gave the blonde human that slumped herself against a nearby wall. "Her coughing is getting worse."

Aria looked at Lauren, who just stared miserably at Liselle. "Are you ill?"

"I hate you." Lauren mumbled in Liselle's direction. "And I am not sick."

"You look like shit," Liselle jabbed the mercenary's arm. "And you've thrown up twice."

"I can still-" Lauren suddenly put a hand up to her mouth and started coughing violently.

Aria stood up and Anto shuffled away from the mercenary. Nyreen watched with a confused expression on her face.

Liselle patted Lauren's back and held onto her arm to keep her from falling over. "See? You're obviously sick! You haven't stopped coughing in two days and you're as pale as a corpse!"

"She has a point." Aria tilted her head so she could see Lauren's face. "Go see a doctor."

The mercenary gave Aria a defiant look. "I'm not sick."

* * *

Dr. Mordin Solus walked quickly between his desk and his workstation in the clinic, reading over multiple datapads and blood test results, when he heard quiet footsteps at the door. He looked up and blinked, taking in the immediate sight of a human and an asari standing at the doorway.

"Armed. Omega symbols. The infamous daughter of Omega and enforcer. Liselle T'Loak. Lauren "Blue" Hackett." Mordin blinked. "Human looks pale, having difficulty breathing. Sweat on brow despite pronounced flush on face. Pneumonia likely. Infection rate high recently." He sniffed. "Most likely due to stress compromising immune system."

"English." Lauren said weakly. "Please."

"Is she contagious?" Liselle asked.

"Non-humans cannot be infected with pneumonia. Species-specific disease. Must check vitals. Heart rate. Temperature. Blood pressure." Mordin turned on his Omni-tool and walked towards Lauren. "Hold still."

Lauren did as she was told, allowing the salarian to fret around her, taking her vitals and checking her pupils. "Well?"

"Blood test is necessary for complete diagnosis." Mordin walked to a tray and picked up a pre-packaged sterile syringe. He opened the packaging and walked towards Lauren, who had gone completely pale.

"Needles. Why is it always needles?" Lauren muttered.


	4. Pale 2

Liselle walked into Lauren's apartment, balancing the grocery bags she held in her hands and the bag from the pharmacy. She half-walked and stumbled into Lauren's kitchen and plunked the bags down on the smooth counter. The asari looked at the couch, where Lauren was lying with a pillow underneath her back to keep herself propped up.

Dr. Solus had confirmed it was pneumonia and prescribed medicine to help Lauren recover, but Liselle was unhappy to learn that it would take at least two weeks for Lauren to be well enough to work. She'd passed along the information to Aria - who had been initially concerned but had quickly become annoyed - before leaving Lauren in her apartment to fetch the human's groceries and medicine.

It was the least Liselle could do to help Lauren out. She'd helped Liselle re-paint her entire apartment a few weeks earlier, so Liselle owed her.

"I got the groceries you asked for," Liselle said as she put away the various foods in different storage containers inside the refrigerator. "And your medicine. You're supposed to take one pill twice a day until the bottle's empty."

She heard a shuffling noise and looked up to see Lauren reading the pill bottle with a skeptical look on her face.

"Take with food." Lauren read slowly, tracing her finger underneath the directions. "Take twice a day...Alright. Thanks Liselle."

"No problem, I owed you one anyways." Liselle leaned against the counter. "Mother said that Anto will take up your work while you're gone. He's been slacking off anyways."

"Wonderful." Lauren said dryly as she set down the pill bottle on the counter. "I should be fine as long as I eat, rest, and take two of these," she shook the pill bottle viciously. "Every day. Easier said than done."

Liselle could still hear the weakness in her voice, like she was still having trouble breathing. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No," Lauren coughed. "I should be fine. This damn illness has been around for thousands of years and my species has dealt with it. I can deal with it."

"If you say so." Liselle said with a small laugh. "I'll call you tomorrow."

Lauren watched her leave before she shuffled towards her bathroom and turned on the shower.

"Shower. Eat. Sleep." Lauren mumbled. "And then do it all over again tomorrow, if you can get up. I can do this."


	5. Not doing it right

_"I exist as a part of the universe; my energy is it's energy."_

Shepard watched quietly as the muscles in her friend's shoulders relaxed. She'd seen Samara meditate before but usually left long before it got to the prayers. Usually she could tear herself away, but this time she was rooted to the spot and unable to look away.

"_I have but to reach out and run my hand across the strings that bind us together. The strings that hold all of our thoughts and our memories." _

Lauren took another deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Shepard."

She jumped, her heart jolting in her chest. "I didn't mean to-"

The blonde reached out and suddenly patted her hand on the space next to her. "Join me."

"I have paperwork to do," Shepard pointed at the door and went to step backwards, only to be stopped by the sound of laughter.

Lauren shook her head. "That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard."

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck.

"Come sit." Lauren patted the space next to her again. "It won't kill you to try to relax."

"Look, Lauren, I've tried the whole meditation thing before and it didn't work for me." Shepard explained. "I really can't stand the silence."

"Then you obviously weren't doing it right."

Shepard looked at the door briefly before giving in. If anyone could successfully teach her to meditate it would probably be Lauren. The biotic wasn't watching her as she lowered herself awkwardly to the floor and sitting crossed legged. Actually, she wasn't really watching anything at all, Shepard realized. She had her eyes shut and had a peaceful expression on her face.

Which was somewhat scary; was this actually the same woman who mercilessly tore apart enemies in a battle with her mind?

"You seem troubled." Lauren said quietly causing the spectre to jump slightly.

"What?"

"That's why you came in here in the first place right? To talk?"

"Oh," Shepard looked down at her hands which were knotted in her lap. "Yes. That was the reason, but you were praying-"

"Meditation requires prayer to help focus the mind." Lauren said calmly. "I carry the memories of two people, Shepard. Sometimes my mind needs to rest."

She knew what Lauren was referring to - the bonding with Aria. "Right."

"What's eating you?" The blonde asked.

"It's nothing really."

"The dark circles under your eyes say otherwise."

She brought a hand up to her face and touched the skin underneath her eyes questioningly. Was it that obvious?

"Is it about the Cipher?"

"How did you-?" Shepard blinked in surprise. "Who told you?"

Her lips curled into an understanding smile. "You just did."

Shepard stopped for two seconds while she processed what Lauren had just done. "You are something else."

"I'm a mercenary boss, Aeron. Give me some credit for being able to read people." She opened one eye to look at Shepard. "As for the Cipher, you might find meditation helpful. Chakwas suggested it back when you were chasing the collectors right?"

Shepard stared at her.

Lauren smirked. "Liara told me."

"Of course she did," Shepard sighed. "Did she tell you that an asari justicar tried to teach me?"

"Yes, but there was an age and species gap then. We're not that far apart from each other in age and you are human. At least, I think so."

Shepard looked at her hands and was surprised when Lauren reached over and pinched her.

"That was a joke. You're supposed to laugh."

Shepard smiled half-heartedly. "Sorry, I'm just not in that kind of mood."

"The nightmares are that bad?" Lauren asked.

"I can't sleep. Hell, if Deacon wasn't so insistent, I'd probably be going days without eating too." She said quietly.

"Damn."

Shepard looked up at Lauren who was staring at her with a mild look of shock on her face. "Yeah. It's not that bad once you get used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be getting used to it at all - you should be sleeping." Lauren prodded the side of Shepard's leg. "Honestly - have you tried medication?"

She nodded. "Chakwas prescribed some pills for me, but they don't do it anymore."

"How long?"

She looked at her hands again, this time feeling a little guilty. "I haven't slept well since the destruction of the Collector Base. And even then that sleep was because I was exhausted."

There was a small amount of silence in which Lauren didn't speak and Shepard didn't meet her gaze, even though she could feel the biotic's eyes on her.

"Let me teach you breathing exercises to start." Lauren said finally. "Then we'll work on relaxing your muscles."

Shepard looked up at her. "What?"

"Meditation, Shepard. I'm going to teach you how to shut your brain up." Lauren tapped at the side of her temple with one finger. "It will help you fall asleep."


	6. Idiot

Training with the ground crew was rare, especially in the war they were fighting, but the Commander made it a point to have everyone stop and do some sort of training. On this training, however, was to take place on an Alliance station near the Citadel. A station that every single person in the Alliance knew about:

Katarina Station.

It was a refuge for the last of the Alliance's fleet, known for its cruel and tough training sims that even N7s had a hard time beating. It was, at its core, the most intimidating place Shepard had ever been during her time training in the N7 program. It was obvious just watching Shepard as they approached the station in the cockpit.

She was drumming her fingers on her arm and had a serious expression on her face. Deacon and Lauren were nowhere to be found, leaving the crew to wonder if they were just as tense as she was.

Garrus was worried enough after seeing Shepard's behavior to go check on Deacon - to be sure that he wasn't breaking anything out of anxiety. He couldn't find the engineer in his post down by Ken and Gabby, so he ended up asking EDI. The AI had directed him to the bar in Port Observation.

Garrus stepped through the door to the unnerving sound of silence. The turian could see Deacon with his head down on the bar with Lauren across from him.

"Hey Garrus." Deacon's voice was mumbled. "Are we there yet?"

"We're getting close," Garrus replied. "ETA fifteen minutes."

Lauren sighed and picked up a glass on the bar's counter. "Fifteen minutes until we get washed with fond memories of almost dying in training sims."

"Don't remind me." Deacon muttered. "Fucking training sims. I'm not drunk enough for this."

"Agreed." The blonde moved across the bar to put the glass away. "However, Shepard asked us not to be to drunk."

"Training and then a meeting with what's left of Earth's and the Alliance's government." Deacon picked his head up. "Why not just shoot us and get it over with?"

"Because everyone intends on making us suffer." Lauren responded. "My dad is one thing - but the other remnants? It's like slow torture followed by gunfire."

Garrus tilted his head. "Where they really that bad?"

Deacon looked at the turian with the most serious expression he could muster. "I have only been close to death three times. The explosion in the Citadel Tower after killing Saren, Torfan, and our first test in those sims. Those. Things. Fucking. Suck."

Garrus watched the human thunk his head down on the counter again. "Wow."

Lauren sighed and put her elbow on the counter, leaning to rest her cheek in the palm of her hand. "You know you have to get up, right?"

"Fuck you." Deacon muttered.

"No thanks, sweetheart, you're not my type." Lauren said dryly. "I like blue things, remember?"

Deacon smirked into the counter. The joke in his head was too hard to pass up - he'd never get another chance.

"Garrus's tattoos must drive you insane."

Both Lauren and Garrus wacked him at the same time.

Deacon winced and rubbed at his head. "Worth it."

"Idiot."


	7. Feron needs a new hobby

Name: Hackett, Lauren

Former Alliance Commander. Powerful biotic with exceptional strategic thinking abilities. Currently holds formidable rank in Aria T'Loak's organization. Loyalty to T'Loak makes her impossible to manipulate.

* * *

Known Powers

-Lift

-Warp

-Singularity

-Charge

-Nova (preferred)

-Shockwave (preferred)

-Throw (preferred)

-Rush (preferred)

Note: The Rush ability resembles a biotic charge, but used only specifically to advance towards distant targets or to go through obstacles when used by Hackett. Hackett also seems to have also acquired a reputation after using this ability to go through 2 inches of hardened carbon steel during a training exercise.

* * *

Only mail message sent unecrypted to date:

Private Message

From: Major Caleb Antella

To: Lauren Hackett

Subject: Information

Ms. Hackett,

I obtained your address through a third-party, and it has not been given to anyone else. I only want information pertaining to Commander A. Shepard's presence and actions on board Omega. The Alliance is not investigating her, but we are looking into the matter of her disappearance. With all due respect, you served in the Alliance, you know how important these matters are.

Sincerely,

Major Antella.

Department of Internal Naval Affairs

.

From: Lauren Hackett

To: Major Caleb Antella

Subject: Re: Information

With all due respect, _kiss my ass_.

Signed,

Lauren Hackett

Department of Fuck Internal Naval Affairs

* * *

Chat Transcripts

* * *

Latest text exchange:

Lauren Hackett (Location: Omega)

Preitor Gavorn (Location: Omega)

01:24 G: I hate to ruin whatever "fun" you and Aria are having, but there's a problem out here.

01:26 L: It's business, not pleasure. What's going on?

01:26 G: One of your informants just ended up dead. That asari, Aluna.

01:27 L: Fuck. Any word on who did it?

01:28 G: No.

01:28 L: Damn it. Alright, I'll be right out.

01:29 G: I'm not ruining whatever "business" you're talking about, am I?

01:30 L: I give one lapdance and everyone thinks I'm siding as a dancer in my spare time.

01:31 G: You are flexible enough.

01:32 L: Fuck you.

01:32 L: I'm on my way out now. Just keep everyone away from the body, alright?

01:33 G: Fine. Hurry up though, the vorcha look hungry.

* * *

Armor Specs

* * *

Rosenkov Light Armor (Custom)

-Unique model

-Cost aprox. 15,978 credits

-Size 4, Black

-Light Armor

-Made from a unique layering system that provides excellent protection from impacts that result from explosions or concussive rounds.

-Lightweight and flexible to allow a full range of movement normally unavailable for other armor types.

-Omega insignia printed on shoulder guard on request.

* * *

Audio Transmission Transcipt

Recording taken on Omega, Upper Apartments, Alleyway. 02:12AM.

Lauren: Who's fucking idea was this again?

Aria: I think...I don't know. Are you okay?

Lauren: I'm so high right now.

Aria: Woah, careful.

Lauren: What they hell did they slip me?

Aria: Doesn't matter- We should get you back to the apartment.

Lauren: And go to sleep. Good idea. Why is gravity such a bitch?

Aria: Actually I was going to say we should get you back to the apartment and strip you out of your clothes. Sleep can come after that.

Lauren: Oh- Oh. Do I at least get to sleep in?

Aria: You're insufferable.

Lauren: Says the woman who wants to take me home and fuck me until she can't even _think. _

Aria: Shut up and walk.

* * *

Shepard snorted and set down the datapad with the dossier on it. She reached forward and picked up a french fry off her tray, smiling as she did so. Liara noticed and set down her tea.

"I told you that you'd want to read it." The asari said with a smirk.

"And you were right." The commander replied. "It's hilarious, Liara. Did you or Feron put it together?"

"Feron did. He seemed to think it was hilarious." Liara was smug. "I've got one he did for Josiah."

Shepard's smile widened. "You need to give that drell something else to do."


	8. Birthday

Shepard poked at her food with her fork, wondering numbly if she was actually poking at food, when she heard quick footsteps enter the mess hall. She glanced up and noted a flash of blonde as it quickly left the mess hall. She blinked twice before she looked at Gabby, who looked just as confused as she was.

"I think she grabbed a cup of coffee." Gabby said slowly. "I'm not sure."

"She's been running in and out of here for coffee since last night." Chakwas said from her datapad. "According to Liara, she's working on something. Garrus, EDI, and Joker have both been in there too."

"Huh." Shepard looked towards the end of the hallway that led towards the recreation room. Lauren had taken refuge there lately, using a terminal that had once been Kasumi's. "Wonder what she's doing."

Donnelly muttered something in Gabby's direction as he kicked a piece of reconstituted broccoli across his tray. Gabby responded by swiftly kicking him under the table and shushing him, which perked Shepard's curiosity.

"Do you two know what she's up to?"

"No..." Donnelly said slowly.

"Not a thing, Commander." Gabby didn't look up from her food.

Shepard narrowed her eyes. "Donnelly..."

The Scottish man looked at her and scrunched his face up. He jerked his head in Gabby's direction, which prompted another swift kick from under the table.

Shepard looked at Gabby questioningly. "Anything to add Daniels?"

Gabby bit her lip at the use of her last name.

Chakwas looked up over the edge of her datapad at Gabby. "You know she's not going to give up until you tell her, Miss Daniels."

The engineer dropped her fork on her tray and looked at Shepard guiltily. "I might have overheard something..."

"Before the end of the universe, Daniels."

"Just spit it out," Donnelly hissed.

"She's been working on-"

Lauren's loud voice came from the hallway. "Shepard! Can you come here for a minute?"

Shepard looked down at her tray and then immediately stood up, abandoning what little "food" she had left. She walked towards the rec room, noticing that Donnelly and Daniels were having a fight entirely in whispers.

She entered the rec room and noticed Lauren standing over a few datapads.

"What?" Shepard grunted.

Lauren looked at her, somewhat annoyed by her normal greeting. "Can you not mumble for once?"

"Can you not be a bitch for five seconds?" Shepard retorted.

Lauren smiled sweetly. "No."

"Damn." Shepard crossed her arms. "What do you need?"

"Before you get a thing in your head about how this was all entirely my idea, EDI and Joker brought it up and then Garrus liked it, so..." Lauren held out a datapad.

Shepard raised an eyebrow before she took the datapad gingerly, like it was a bomb that could go off in her hand. She only had to read the first sentence before she almost lost it.

"Don't laugh - when was the last time we celebrated Josiah's birthday together?" Lauren poked the woman sharply in the ribs.

Shepard was holding in hysterical giggles. "This is _perfect_. EDI and Joker thought of it?"

"Apparently they talked to Garrus about it and they all agreed that I should be the one to plan all of it." Lauren frowned. "I hate parties normally, but this one..."

"Josiah's going to loose his fucking mind - you know how he is with people being nice to him." Shepard grinned. "Oh you have to get me in on this."

Lauren brightened. "Thank the goddess, here I was thinking I'd have to do it all by myself. I told the rest of the crew not to tell a soul until we sort out all the details."

"Good idea. We don't want him to get even a whiff of what's coming." Shepard thumbed through the datapad. "A birthday party on the Normandy. This should be fun."

"Garrus wants to bake the cake." Lauren tapped the datapad. "Chakwas is going to help him."

Shepard snorted. "What's my job?"

"You and I get to keep him busy tomorrow on the Citadel until everyone gets this place set up."


	9. Swear Words

Shepard and Deacon both stared in absolute confusion at the scene in front of them. Neither of them wanted to say anything in case what they were seeing, and hearing, ended prematurely. Strings of spanish curse words accompanied the sight of Lauren attempting to pry apart the top end of her assault rifle, which was stuck shut after it had been slammed into a wall during their last mission.

Vega stood a few feet off, his body racking with laughter as he also watched the scene. Shepard noticed him and walked over to tap him on the shoulder.

The bigger marine looked at her, still laughing. "Yeah?"

"What's she saying?" Shepard asked between giggles.

Vega looked at Lauren, who was wrestling with a screwdriver. "Hold on..."

"-_Odio esta maldita cosa! Por que no lo abre_?!"

"I hate this fucking thing...why can't it just open..." Vega raised an eyebrow.

"_Matarte, hijo de puta!_"

Vega shook his head. "That one's not very appropriate."

Shepard snorted. "That woman's not appropriate. I can't believe I still don't understand spanish."

Vega chuckled. "Stick enough obstacles in her way and you can learn all the naughty bits of the language, Lola."

"James!" Lauren's head turned in his direction, her hair somewhat standing on end. "_Me traes un martillo maldito o algo asi_?"

James blinked. "_Has mirado en el cajon de la izquierda_?"

"No..." The small woman flung open a drawer and pulled out a tool. "_Lo encontro, gracias._"

Deacon shook his head. "She was furious yesterday when she found the coffee machine empty too."

"Heard about that," Shepard planted a hand on her hip. "We really need to learn some Spanish."

"You know she speaks asari too, right?" Deacon asked quietly. "She swears in both."

"Yeah, but at least asari sounds pretty. Spanish is pretty rough."

"As a spanish speaker, I take offense to that."

Shepard snorted while Deacon started laughing.

"Says the man that bashed open an electrical panel with his elbow."

"Watch it, Loco. Didn't you headbutt a krogan the last time you were on Tuchanka?"

Shepard doubled over, remembering the incident and how she had to apply medigel to Deacon's broken nose, laughter taking over.

"Breathe, Lola." James patted her back. "Don't die on us yet."

"HA!"_  
_

The trio looked up and noticed that Lauren was holding the back end of her assault rifle with a triumphant look on her face.

"Well, it was entertaining while it lasted." Deacon commented. "What do you want to do now?"

Shepard shrugged.

"Go bug Scars?" James suggested.

Shepard smirked. "Garrus is due for some pestering now that his calibrations are over."

"We are evil."

Deacon ran a hand over his short-cropped hair. "Your point?"

"Just saying it out loud." The marine moved towards Lauren. "You loose something Merc?"

Shepard and Deacon looked at each other, ignoring James and Lauren's conversation.

"He gave her a nickname." Deacon sounded amused.

Shepard nodded. "Looks like we have to keep her."

"Damn and here I was hoping we could trade her for a krogan."

Shepard punched his arm. "Come on, let's go bug Garrus."


	10. Feron needs a new hobby 2

Name: Deacon, Josiah

Known Aliases: Harper, Josiah

Alliance Commander and Spectre candidate. Talented engineer with outstanding analysis and skills. While loyal to the Alliance, he has shown complete loyalty to Commander Shepard, thus making him impossible to manipulate.

Note: A dangerous combatant with training in heavy weapons. Do not approach or engage.

Known Abilites

-Combat Drone

-Incinerate

-Sentry Turret

-Overload

* * *

Private Message

From: Admiral S. Hackett

To: Commander Josiah Deacon

Subject: Omega

You're telling me that my daughter is not only a current member of Aria's organization in the Terminus systems, but that she's also a pit fighter? Are you sure she didn't slip you anything while you were there?

.

From: Commander Josiah Deacon

Subject: Omega

You understand that this is the same woman who kicked my ass repeatedly in N7 training, right?

.

From: Admiral S. Hackett

Subject: Omega

I want a full report when Shepard isn't riding your ass about the Normandy's systems.

.

From: Commander Josiah Deacon

Subject: Omega

I'll send it when Alenko starts fawning over her again.

.

From: Admiral S. Hackett

Subject: Omega

I'll pretend I didn't read that.

* * *

Extranet Search History

-Search: colony repair progress

-Refined Search: Alliance colony repair progress

-Download: News Vid: Freedom's Progress Colony Status Reinstated

-Search: Torfan

-Download: News Report: Retaliation from the Alliance or justifiable action?

-Highlighted excerpt: _Commander J. Deacon followed his orders and led his unit to wipe out all the batarian pirates on Torfan. Due to the amount of enemy forces and the construction of the bases, heavy losses were occurred on the Alliance's side. Many of the survivors of the attack however, said that they would have gladly died fighting the batarians and don't blame the Commander for his actions. One survivor, Jonathan Marks, said: "Orders are orders. Any Alliance soldier would have done the same thing. I know every man that was under his command that died didn't question his actions. It pains me to see that our own race condemns his actions – it wasn't his fault. Everyone remembers that these were the people that organized the Blitz, right?" _

-Delete Search History

* * *

Audio Transmission Transcript

Recording taken on the Presidium. 05:29PM.

Deacon: Damn.

Shepard: Yeah. Why the hell is this so fucking hard?

Deacon: Deep breath, Aeron.

Shepard: I can't fucking believe this though. A dinner party. Why?

Deacon: -laughs- All you have to do is show up, drink something, and get dragged around by Anderson. It's just a show, Aeron. Just smile and be polite.

Shepard: You know perfectly damn well that I am not polite.

Deacon: I know you're not polite. I'm the last person here that would expect you to be polite – but I know you can fake it.

Shepard: -sigh- I can fake polite. That I can do.

Deacon: Alright then. Let's go.

Shepard: Yeah, let's get this over with. Stick out your arm so I can drape myself on it like Liara showed me.

Deacon: Ready to fake smile at a bunch of diplomats, Commander?

Shepard: Walk gay guerilla.

Deacon: Please don't call me that.

Shepard: Please don't call me that -?

Deacon: -sigh- Ma'am.

Shepard: That's better. Now walk.

* * *

Shepard shook her head. "Fawning? Really?"

Liara smirked. "I wouldn't call is fawning, but yes, that's what he wrote."

"No wonder Admiral Hackett asked if I'd heard from Alenko..."


	11. Birthday 2

Deacon knew something was up the moment he stepped off the Normandy behind Lauren and Shepard.

"So what are we doing again?" He asked.

Lauren groaned and pressed the elevator button again. "Aria has invited the two of you for lunch with us - which will be followed by us picking up the two things we didn't have at our bonding ceremony."

"I still don't understand how you forgot the rings." Shepard said honestly.

Deacon looked at Lauren. "You did what?"

The woman visibly cringed. "Well...I didn't forget them actually - we had plain ones made." She wiggled her ring finger, which had a silver band on it. "Don't bring this up with Aria - but Liselle designed the real rings. She had them ordered and handed over the designs and was killed a week later. We kind of forgot in the middle of burying her, getting married, and dealing with Omega."

Shepard looked at Deacon, the both of them sharing a pained look.

"So where are we eating?"

Deacon groaned. "Do you always think with your stomach?"

"Are you honestly asking me that question?" Shepard replied, raising an eyebrow at him. "You've known me for what, almost a decade?"

"Point."

The elevator door opened and they all basically ran out.

"We're going to a human restaurant, upper wards." Lauren smiled happily. "With real food."

"We should tell Joker." Shepard joked. "He would FLIP over the fact that we're about to eat real food."

"The crew is going to have a collective heart attack." Deacon responded.

"What's the place called?" Shepard asked.

Lauren snorted. "Lily's Landing. They do asari food as well as human, that's why she wanted to go - there she is."

They all spotted the mercenary queen on a balcony. Shepard was impressed with how well the asari was dressed. It was a gown of some dark color that Shepard couldn't place, but it was obviously asari made. With all three of them in their Alliance uniforms, it almost made Shepard think they looked normal. Lauren walked over to her wife and planted a kiss on her cheek, causing the asari to smile.

"So you did miss me."

"No, I'm just hungry." Lauren said teasingly. "Love what you're wearing."

Aria looked at Shepard and Deacon. "Thank you for agreeing to come eat with us. I was wondering when we'd all be able to do something like this, with the war going on."

"We can always take a break for friends." Shepard nudged Deacon, who was still staring at Aria questioningly.

The engineer looked at her a blinked suspiciously. "Right. Of course. Wonderful outfit, by the way." He said to Aria.

Aria hooked her arm with Lauren's. "Thank you. It's amazing - she actually has good taste." She jerked a blue finger in Lauren's direction.

"Thanks." The blonde replied sarcastically.

"Let's go eat." Aria led the trio towards the door of the nearby restaurant. She leaned close to Lauren's ear. "Is the crew getting the ship ready while the three of you are out?"

Lauren nodded her head slightly. "Yes," she whispered back. "We just have to give them some time."

"That, I can do." Aria walked up to the hostess standing behind a console. "T'Loak, four."

The young asari maiden nodded and tapped on the console. "Oh yes - Mrs. T'Loak. I have you and your party at a table by the window, please follow me."

They followed her inside past tables of people and servers. Their table was next to a window, cut off from all the other tables and prying eyes by two large ornate walls. Shepard could spot other tables the same way - obviously meant for privacy from the normal guests. Even the window was angled to prevent people from spying in.

"What kind of restaurant is this?" Shepard asked.

"The kind whose patrons don't like to be spied on by the media." Aria replied casually as she sat down. "My friend the asari councilor and her closest friends eat here every now and then. She recommended it; seeing as how I'd be having lunch with my little-known bondmate and her two closest friends. One of which is a Council spectre. The last thing we want is press butting in to ask you questions, Shepard."


	12. Paper Umbrellas

The various members of the Normandy's crew were enjoying their shore leave at Purgatory. Garrus, Liara, Shepard, Deacon and Vega were enjoying a round of drinks and chatting about the various exciting things that happened in the last week. They were laughing when Shepard noticed a sudden movement by the bar, followed by a distinct gunshot. Every armed member of the ground crew was instantly alert and had their firearms out and ready for anything. The music stopped, replaced by a silence so strong that Shepard could hear Liara's biotics humming from across the table.

That's when they noticed the person holding the gun.

Lauren stepped out from behind the bar, her pistol held lazily at her side. Her high heels clicked on Purgatory's floor, making an echoing noise as she walked. She stopped a few feet from a person who lay motionless on the floor.

"Funny. I only shot him with a blank." She tilted her head to the side. "I want him out of here." She said loudly.

They watched as one of Lauren's mercenaries came and picked up the man on the floor and dragged him towards the entrance. Lauren watched the man go before she looked up at the DJ, who was standing in his booth with a blank look on his face.

"What the hell are you doing? I'm paying you dextro-shit." She said loudly. "Turn the damn music back on!"

The DJ complied and the bar seemed to shift back to normal when Lauren stalked up to the VIP lounge.

Shepard looked at the occupants of their table. "Remind me never to piss her off." The spectre said dully as she holstered her pistol.

"She's certainly intimidating." Liara hummed. "When she's working."

Deacon relaxed at the table and picked up his beer. "And when you give her a headache. I thought she was going to kill Donnelly yesterday morning."

"It's because of her life on Omega," Garrus said as he played with the little paper umbrella that came on his drink with a sort of childlike amusement. "Most people don't bother mercenaries at all - it's no wonder she is quick to be upset or annoyed - she expects the crew to leave her alone."

Vega nodded in agreement. "Too bad the crew can't go out of their way to avoid her."

"Everyone has to cope with something. In Lauren's case is the crew - mine is power malfunctions." Liara said as she fished the olive out of her martini.

"Mine is insomnia." Shepard said thoughtfully as she frowned at her empty glass. "And empty glasses."

"Let me fix that." Derimus was at the table, a tray in his talons. He picked up another glass of beer and set it down in front of Shepard before taking her empty glass.

"Nice timing." Deacon commented.

The turian shrugged. "Drinks are on the house."

"That's generous." Vega said from his chair. "Whose paying?"

"Blondie," Derimus answered quickly. "Said something about making sure everyone got to relax tonight."

"She said that?" Shepard asked while she picked up her beer and sniffed it.

"Well...that's not exactly what she said, but it's close." Derimus tucked the tray under his arm. "There was a lot more colorful euphemisms and angry muttering."

There was a sudden crunch and everyone looked at Garrus, who was sadly staring at the torn paper umbrella.

"Damn it." The turian muttered.

The occupants of the table laughed.

"I'll get you another one," Derimus said as he headed back for the bar. "Wouldn't want Archangel to get bored."

Garrus sniffed sadly and dropped his umbrella on the table. "I was just trying to see if I could open it further."

Shepard reached over and patted the top of Garrus's head. "Aw, poor boy."

Deacon joined in, patting the turian's shoulder. "Whose a good turian?"

Garrus deflated and looked at Liara, who just shrugged and laughed at him.

"Be careful guys," Lauren said from nearby.

Everyone at the table looked up at Lauren, who was holding a paper umbrella between her fingers and twirling it slightly.

"He bites." The biotic held out the umbrella to Garrus who took it gingerly from her.

"He wouldn't bite me." Shepard smiled. "But I wouldn't put it past him to nip at Deacon the next time he "misplaces" the cleaning gear."

Garrus gave Deacon a hard stare. "You said you lost it."

The engineer scooted closer to Liara and took a sip of his drink. "So who was the unlucky bar patron we saw earlier?"

Lauren leaned up against the table and stuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Just some idiot that decided he was going to try to play grab-ass with my agent Sevah. I doubt he'll try it again once he limps his way back here after his ass heals up."

"You shot him in the ass?" Deacon looked somewhat alarmed.

"With a blank." Lauren assured him. "Besides, it's not like I meant to shoot him in the ass. I was aiming for his..."

Deacon and Garrus both stopped and cringed. Shepard shook her head and Liara grimaced.

Lauren smirked and laughed a bit before pulling out another paper umbrella, this time sticking it in the small gap between Garrus's fringe on his head.

"Have fun!" She said happily before she disappeared towards the bar again.

Garrus blinked. "What did she just do to my fringe?"


End file.
